An actual conversation I had with a co-worker a couple of weeks ago (the context was talking about the request for people to volunteer to be charge nurses...)
C: I'm going to volunteer to be in charge...
Me: If you become a charge nurse, I'll quit.
C: You can't quit. You need this job. No one else will hire you...rookie.
Me: You better check yourself before you wreck yourself...
Me: And shotgun bullets are bad for your health.
(the the Resident who was sitting in the corner minding his own business piped up)
Resident: Wow. You just earned yourself some major street cred.